Becca's Thoughts

Nearing the End.... YIKES!!!

So it is now Tuesday night of one of the last weeks that I have as an undergrad students… or as a student at all… that’s right I graduate in 11 days and needless to say… yes I am scared shit less!! ha ha… May people say why am I scared… 1. I’m graduating with a degree in broadcast journalism… 2. I am graduating with a job… and 3. I’m graduating… that’s a good reason alone!!! So why am I scared… hell if I know!!! It’s a feeling that I really don’t have a reason for…. most people are scared for some certain reason but this scared feeling comes with no reason at all…. maybe it’s because I am actually growing up… I mean when I look at it I’m sorta like my parents now…. I have a salary job…. I’m gonna have bills and I’m gonna have to fend for myself! I am no longer a broke college student…. I’m just broke!!! I guess it’s the whole graduating and growing up and not returning for school in the spring that gets me. Many people are registering for class and stressing out over it and I’m not…. I’m actually not stressing over a lot of stuff like finals or big projects or anything like that…. i’m stressing about getting everything packed up and moved out of my house so I can start work on the 22nd….. AAAAHHHHH…. it isn’t more “when I grow up” things its “man I have to grow up!!!”

Worst Shower?

So I never thought that worst and shower would be in the same sentence but that is exactly what happen to me today. First off I love to take showers I think that they are the best thing in the world and very comforting and relaxing. Anyway, I didn’t want to take a shower toay becasue it was so cold and I knew that the shower could either warm me up or make the coldness even worse. Plus if you know me you know that I just hate to be cold!! So i decided to give the shower a shot and right away it starts off bad.  Getting into the shower I jam my toe on the tub and that wasn’t the best feeling with cold feet. So it gets better and I start to warm up when i decide to wash my face. So as I am washing my face first off I get soap in my mouth, which is something that has happened before so it’s not that bad. Then soap goes in my eye and burns like hell and goes up my nose to the point that I am blowing bubbles with my nose, and the soap up my nose isn’t the best feeling it burns like hell and still is!!! So lets just say that I couldn’t wait to get out of that shower oh ya and also freeze my butt off at the same time!!! UGH!!!

Morning Breath...

So as I sit here watching another re-run of sex and the city on TBS there are many wonders that pass my mind. The biggest one though is morning breath… there are often times on this show and many others that they wake up in the morning and make out and have sex… now yes I know… it’s a show rebecca its not real!! But in reality does that really happen. Do people wake up and make out with eachother… morning breath and all! Now yes I do have a boyfriend and we do often sleep in the same bed and wake up together but in the morning I will either not say anyhting to him or make a dash to the bathroom and at least swish some mouth wash. I just wonder if that happens becasue some people have some nasty breath and if it is so that morning breath does the trick to some morning “fun” then I must be in the wrong boat becasue that is nasty!!! Ha ha just thought I would give you something fun to think about!!!

Up at 2am...

Why…. why have I been up since 2 and still can’t seem to fall asleep!!! Its like my brain doesn’t want to stop working even though I am so mentally drained I have no idea what to think. Today was so mentally hard and it is still going to get harder, not fun! Sometimes I wish that I was still in kindergarten where the biggest problem was having to have a nap time or making sure that there is enough crayons to finish my dawing. Those sure were the days! Or why can’t I be thirty already! To me I hope that by thirty I should have my life starterd and be well into it that I know my daily routine and don’t have to worry about anything else besides that. I will hopefully be in a happy marriage with at that time at least two kids that are on my mind. It’s hard to believe that my parents by the age of 23 were graduated from school, had jobs, were married and well on their way to having kids and living a happy life together. I am 22 years old, about to graduate, and not sure where I will be in two years and who I will be with. What scares me the most is that I could very well be alone and spending my time at work becasue that is all I have. I watch Sex and the City and although I love the show I don’t want to be like any of the characters in it. They are 30 (or older not too sure) with their jobs and eachother. Although they do have eachother are they ever really happy? To me I have to say NO!! I don’t want to be like that, all I ever want from life is to be happy and my biggest fear is that I won’t be. Recently my best friend tried to move so that she can be happy and it ended up that she never was, although she did only spend like four weeks I think away from her normal surroundings she came right back to them. So that makes me wonder will I be like that and go away for a month and hate it so much and not be happy that I give up and return to my usual surroundings? I really hope not. I think that I can make it and really hope I do! I think that there is enough rambling going on here for one night and it’s time to try to go back to sleep especially since it’s now 4 in the morning!!! Awsome so Im looking at like 3 hours of sleep hopefully!!! UGH!!!

HELP!!

Growing up is hard to do. Its that time!! Im reaching the end of my education era and stepping out into the “real world”. So the question that I have is am I ready? Am I really ready to move on and live on my own and actualy take care of my self? Yes I am sort of done that these past four and a half years but I always had my big sister with me and I was always just a few hours away from my parents and that made me feel more comfortable. So now after December who knows where I will be? I can either be a few hours drive away as usual or I can be a few hours flight away. It’s not moving and succeeding that scares me it’s thinking that I am not mature enough or ready enough to be that far away from the people that I love. Yes I know that I have to grow up sometime and I have to get off of mom and dad’s lap and I plan to do that but right now am I ready? I guess maybe everyone goes through this and who knows maybe it’s just me all I know is that everyday that it gets closer to graduation i get closer to having a panic attack!!!

First Timer...

Hello everyone… So i have decided to come into the wonderful world of blogging and I think that it came at a good time. I am about to graduate college and began life and I don’t think that anyone know’s just how nervouse I am… its time for me to grow up and that really scares me!!! So I’m sure that you will hear more about it through out this semester!!!

xoxo

B